Tis the Season...

....of secrets.

It's so hard to keep secrets. But, this is the time of the year when it's okay to not tell people everything that you have going on.

I'm so excited.....right now I have 3 REALLY BIG HUGE secrets that I'm keeping.

Some people know 1 of them, a few people know another 1 of them, and only a couple of people know the last one. It's really hard to keep these secrets....but I enjoy the surprise when you finally get to reveal the secret.

Wanna know my secrets......stay tuned!

The Transformation

It's funny that you don't notice the changes of your child to an adult -- it's like all of a sudden you look at them and they've changed.

This week after experiencing much heartache, Aaron (the youngest) and I have bonded like never before. This week he demonstrated his compassion towards others, his "stepping up to the plate" when it was needed, and his tremendous love and sadness for Leslie.

We've hugged, we've cried, we've laughed, we've talked, and most importantly we have both learned how important it is to live your life to the fullest because there are no guarantees.

Thank you Aaron for showing me your romantic side when you talked about how your first kiss with Leslie was in Lake Charles on the riverboat deck. That truly melted my heart. Thank you Aaron for showing me how to be a man and shake hands with Leslie's father and pass your condolences when they hadn't hardly acknowledged you or your love for their daugher. That truly made me proud. And thank you Aaron for showing me your love and sharing the love you have for Mason and Leslie. I know it's been a very difficult week for you, but you've handled yourself with dignity, respect, and compassion and those are magnificent qualities for a good man.

I love you more than you know......thanks for helping me get through this with you.

Goodbye Leslie

Today is Tuesday, November 23rd. It's important to note that because I'm not sure when I'll actually get done writing all that I am feeling.

Needless to say, today has been extremely rough. Unbelievably rough. I've shed so many tears and given so many hugs, but there is still so many left to give and to receive. I'm sure over the next week we'll need them all.

Last night my son lost the girl that he loved. Also importantly, we lost the girl who loved my son. I think most of our tears have been over all the things that we've now missed out on. The plans that we made that won't happen. We are all so sad.

Leslie laughed loudly, had an innocence about her that kept us answering her crazy questions, and she deeply loved Mason and Aaron. I was so happy that Aaron now had someone to love, that loved him, and that would be taking care of him. It was one little less worry that I had. This quiet house would suddenly fill with noise once they arrived, but I was always glad to see them. I'll miss that noise. Leslie also made sure she gave you a hug before she left. I'll miss those hugs.



Thankfully, we got to spend our Sunday Thanksgiving dinner with our whole Texas family. We had the best time we've had in a very long time and thankfully those happy memories are the last that I have of being with Leslie. Today I had to clean out the refrigerator and get rid of some of the leftover food from Sunday. It crushed me to have to throw away the leftover pink salad that Leslie had brought for dinner. She was so excited to be contributing and had been so happy that we had all raved about her salad. I cannot keep the salad forever, but knowing how happy she was to bring it -- makes me smile when I remember. I know, it's silly to be sad over a salad -- but when someone leaves suddenly you think of the small stuff.

So today we say goodbye to Leslie. I am so thankful for the short time that we really got to know who you were, the love that you showed for Mason, and for all your excitement, enthusiasm, and love you gave Aaron. We will all miss you so much and we truly felt like you were part of our family. I looked so forward to our trip to Charming Charlies, our Christmas we were going to spend together, and getting to be a part of Mason's 3rd birthday. I know that you were working so hard to get your life back together, but you never got angry, depressed, or sad about things -- you just kept charging forward with your positive attitude knowing that everything would work out in the end.



I love you Leslie -- you will truly, truly be missed by my family. Most importantly, please watch over Aaron and Mason. They both love you so much and will probably miss you more than anyone.

P.S. Leslie your rings are still sitting on my kitchen windowsill where you left them. I can't bear to move them yet as it reminds me of our "girl" time cleaning the kitchen.

A different Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving will be a little different around here than most of the other years. For one thing, instead of it being a quiet little meal with 4-6 of us -- it will be around 10 of us and 3 of those children under the age of 3.



Actually, I'm kind of looking forward to it. Year after year Paul tells me I cook way too much food -- so maybe this year I'll get it right.

The other thing that is going to make this Thanksgiving different is that it will be held on Sunday, November 21st. Why you ask? Well the oldest son is supposed to go to Tucson (don't think it's going to happen - he hasn't even gotten tickets yet), the youngest child might have some obligations on his girlfriend's side of the family, and Paul and I are taking an extremely mini-vacation.

Last year we had a crazy Thanksgiving spent with these people. We loved it -- it was just too stressful because it was so short and we felt like we were constantly moving the whole time.



Well anyways....this Thanksgiving Paul and I will be enjoying the adventure of Sea World in San Antonio. I won 4 tickets in the summer time -- Aaron and Leslie used two of them and Paul and I are going to use the other two. We found out they were open on Thanksgiving Day and thought that would be the perfect day. Not too hot, not too crowded, and we don't have to worry about out business being taken care of because we're closed.



So, as you can see, we have big plans and expect to have a great Thanksgiving Day on Sunday. I think I'm gonna drag out some old group games and make everyone play.....I can hear the complaining now!!!

Freedom

Well life has been so busy that I haven't had the opportunity to visit the creative side of myself as much lately.

Tonight is a busy Friday night at Pizza Zone and I'm home alone just getting back from the grocery store. How different it is going to the store and shopping for two. How different it is to finally only think of mine and Paul's likes and not on what everyone else in the household would want.

It was a long time coming, but we finally have that "empty nest" that we've been waiting for. It's funny because when I saw other people with their grown children at home, I was critical. I guess when you're in the situation you don't see it the same as everyone else. I never have viewed my children as adults. They are still the same sweet little boys, part of our "three Musketeers", and who my whole world revolved around for so many years.



But now the times have changed. I am finally free of the stress of their lives. I am free of the tug-of-war between trying to keep them happy and try to keep my husband happy as well. I am free of all the stress of trying to keep everyone's life running. I am now free to run my own life.



What a tremendous burden that has been lifted off of me -- and I am so happy.

Suddenly our little house seems bigger and now my husband has to fulfill all those promises for "when the kids move out". Time to remodel, refloor, repaint, and redecorate our whole EMPTY house!



What fun we are having!

Busy, busy, busy

Hi remember me?

Well life is REALLY busy right now -- but that's a good thing!

Things are hopping and not stopping and we're busy like little bees. Too busy in fact -- but I think we've finally found that pot at the end of the rainbow.

After a year of struggling, stress, and every other emotion -- our Grant Rd. store is finally getting a few breaks. We now have a total of 3 -- yes THREE schools signed up to do school nights with us. This is a big deal!

But that means extra work -- but it also is a marketing gift. This is the best way to get our pizza in the people's hands and let them see how great it is.

So hallelujah and some of our hard work is now paying off!

On the homefront -- things changing here too! But, I can't stop now I've got to attend a webinar in 10 minutes, get some paperwork caught up, get my monthly e-mail finalized to send out, and help Paul work on a doorhanger so that the staff can go out doorhanging tomorrow......

whew......it never ends --- but I am so happy!